Reset?

Have you ever thought about the decisions you've made in the past?
How you wanted them gone. How you enjoyed them yet a part of you still regrets committing them?
I never really thought of that until now.


How do people do that?
Is it necessary to take account past decisions and drag them into current statuses?
Like how happy you were before has become a crime in the present time, in the present relationship.
How you'd be categorized based on experiences the other hasn't tried.
How the present relationship requires you to take aback on how you did things or even how far it took.


I wasn't afraid nor giving a damn on all the judgements people gossip about me.
Guess I wasn't taking it personally bc I know they don't mean to me.
But coming indirectly and inexplicitly yet constructively from the person you love..
I'm having second thoughts about this.
About you.
You and I both weren't ideal,
But everything was put aside,
Differences, principles, everything we've stumbled upon we've tried so hard to patch up just to coincide.
Yet I never really questioned.
Yes I've had my flaws, many of them and you have them too
But you.. You habitually trigger questions inside my mind.
How far are you willing to take for me?
How much of me are you willing to take to be "acceptable"?


I wish there was a reset button on life.
I'd probably hit that everyday bc my  decisions are always against north. I wish my compass isn't broken. Maybe if it weren't,  I wouldn't decide to those, nor maybe having you wasn't an option at all. Then I wouldn't have to be judged by many this way, including you.


I guess I will never be the best one for you.
Too much for true love accepts the whole you; true love accepts your flaws, your mistakes and your past.
Too much for hopeless romanticism.